AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
