Can Purell be used as lube?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
