new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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