At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Dear god my vagina.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
