I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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