People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
