ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
