i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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