The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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