ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
