I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
So apparently I’m into choking now
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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