I'm drive I can fine osifer
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You ruined the universe
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
