your parents love me but you hate me
I am in a vortex of obligation.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
