physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
