Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Girls should come with a carfax report
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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