dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
