you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
are you so shy because you have an std?
where am i from again
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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