Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
