I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
