i can't believe i had my finger in that
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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