Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
