Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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