Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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