I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i will never coherently bang her
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
