Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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