help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
