I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
from now on my penis is your penis
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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