Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
