Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
