as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
