I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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