i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
