I like to think it a success when the cops are called
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i drank out of a bidet.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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