Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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