I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
