I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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