come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
