i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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