I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
