I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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