Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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