Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
