If i come over, it means nothing
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
