the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
it's great music for shaving your balls
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
