i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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