Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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