she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
