And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
