i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
