yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
